The UNSC has managed to pass a resolution on the recent stupidity between the state of Israel and Hezbollah... it's gutless.

That being the case, and because the international community, the United Nations, and the United Nations Security Council (individually and collectively) have shown that they are more interested in using this conflict to further their own national interests and/or hindering the national interests of others than they are of dealing with human beings being turned into red stuff on a rock, the bunker has drafted its' own resolution.

Stageleft Basement Bunker Resolution On Israel/Hezbollah

Whereas the organization of uncivilized, hypocritical, sleazeballs known as Hezbollah cannot seem to allow the good people of Israel to live their lives in peace and security and have lobbed a great many missiles into the towns and living rooms of those people causing grievous loss of innocent life, and

Whereas the uncivilized, hypocritical, sleazeballs known as the government of Israel have decided that the collective punishment of the good people of Lebanon is an appropriate response to the above noted lobbing of missiles and have, to this end, lobbed a great many of their own missiles into the towns and living rooms of those people causing grievous loss of innocent life, and

Whereas neither of the above named uncivilized, hypocritical, sleazeballs appear to give a small rats patoot about the innocent lives that they are taking on an hourly and daily basis with their respective barbarianism,

Now therefore be it resolved that both Hezbollah and Israel immediately cease their stupidity and put their weapons away before anyone else gets hurt.

Be it further resolved (because neither of them can be trusted) that there be a 100km DMZ created to keep Hezbollah and the IDF apart. The centre line of the DMZ will be the internationally accepted border between the state of Israel and the state of Lebanon. The DMZ shall extend an equal distance of 50km into each country, straight up for a distance of 147,597, 892km, and straight down for a distance of 6,356.75km.

Be it further resolved that there shall be no sneaking around the ends of the DMZ

For greater certainty be it even further resolved (because neither of them can be trusted) that there shall be no shooting at each other in, around, through, over, or under, the DMZ

Be it further resolved that an international force of not less than 25,000 armed, and exceedingly disappointed in humanity in general, soldiers patrol the DMZ with orders to inflict immediate death on any individual from either party bent on continuing the stupidity, or ordering the continuance of said stupidity.

Be it further resolved that this international force shall be under the direct, absolute, and irrevocable control of the Stageleft Basement Bunker via (in the field) Lily Cheung, formerly of Mao’s Fourth Revolutionary Women’s Battalion (White Tiger Platoon), now committed to benevolent world domination by bunker leadership as the only hope for humanity.

Be it further resolved that should both parties wish to continue their barbaric stupidity their respective leadership shall be entitled to do so via ancient Klingon ritual hand-to-hand combat.

Be it further, and finally, resolved that these resolutions shall be in force until both Hezbollah and Israel are able to play nice together in the planetary sandbox without wounding, killing, maiming, orphaning, or widowing, innocent men, women, and children who are just trying to get on with their lives.